For my 35th birthday, I took my second skydiving trip. I had decided, after appeasing a childhood dream, that I would do a few more flying leaps for personal growth. I thought, "If I can jump out of a perfectly good plane a handful of times, maybe I can overcome my dislike toward performing monologues and my absolute hatred toward writing term papers." (latter still very much in question) My sister, Katie, drove me to
There was that darn question on the form again: "Medical conditions?" So out of sheer respect for the staff and for no other purpose, I reluctantly wrote, "Paranoid Schizophrenia, Anxiety." I figured "Depression" wasn't a factor since an exhilarating skydive is not even remotely conducive to depression. I had a natural high the last time that wouldn't quit! I showed Rob, my instructor, the personal information on the form and said, "Please don't be alarmed by this; I've already jumped once." I was worried that Rob, like Joe had, would hesitate to take me under his wing, but it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Rob said, "Oh, I'm not worried about that." I was quite taken aback. Little, still, did I know how different from Joe Rob would be.
As we prepared in the ready room, I had mentioned that I had my eyes closed much of the time during my first jump. My instructor and the camera man both told me not to close my eyes. I was making no promises; I didn't care what they said! I don't know if Rob had filled the other guys in about my personal weaknesses (although I'm sure he didn't), but they seemed to test my will considerably. One staff member boarding the plane told me, "He's the crazy skydiver, more like the skyjumper." Still trying to keep my apprehension under control, I thought, "Whatever." So I board the plane, and as we're taking off, the guys on the plane are cracking jokes as one shouts to Rob, "Did you take your medicine?" He said, "No, I didn't think I'd need it!" I'm telling myself, "Oh, they're just full of it." Thankfully Rob had 12 years of skydiving experience under his belt; that much eased my mind. So as we're gaining altitude I'm thinking things like, "Dear Lord, please help me jump. I can't chicken out because my sister's down there with my two nieces, and she'd be ticked if she brought me all the way out here and then I didn't jump!" I was also contemplating promising God I'd never procrastinate with another term paper again and asking the camera man if we were there yet.
We finally reach 13,000 feet and someone opens the door. I'm thinking…no, wait. I'm not thinking at all because I can't afford to at this point! So I'm still blowing the cold shoulder to my relentless apprehension as we start to approach the door, and I decide, "To heck with them; I'm shuttin' my eyes! My top priority, once again, is jumping." So I approach the door with my eyes shut and sure enough, Shai says, "Open your eyes!" Doggone him! So reluctantly I open my eyes. I think, "Ok, just yield to them and get out that doggone door!" We jump, I shut my eyes again until we've evened out on our free fall and Rob taps my arms to stretch them out, and somehow I pull off keeping my eyes open for the rest of the decent. I was more relaxed this time and not as easily shaken by the accelerated descent. I think without the element of the unknown, the shock of having jumped out of a plane was not so intense. However, that is no reflection on Joe. I could never discredit him. He helped me find my wings, and for that he will remain always dear to me.
While the apprehension couldn't be helped, I was still able to enjoy the moment. Shai descends to our level and I shoot some silly looks. Then he takes my hands and we spin around in our free fall descent. It was all still kinda scary and felt a little awkward, it being only my second flight and all, but I was determined to make the best of it. That was awesome, joining hands in the free fall. It made me think of the video of the Air Force Academy where students were skydiving and several of them were joining hands.
Finally, I hear that light popping sound. Rob has pulled the parachute and we have decelerated our fall. I thought it would shoot us up in the air. Maybe it was the high winds keeping at bay the sudden momentary ascent as the parachute went up, or maybe the video of Joe and me as ours went up was simply an illusion from the still free falling camera man's point of view, but this time with my eyes open, I could see that the unfolding parachute had simply slowed down our decent. Thank goodness I wasn't thinking about how many miles per hour we were previously falling at the time, that may have been a bit too much.
Rob hands me the toggle straps to the parachute and proceeds to tell me how to handle them. How different he was from Joe! Joe was extremely watchful over me, asking me many times if I was alright, and reassuring me that I could back away anytime. Honestly, I found Joe's attentiveness quite comforting. I believe God gave me what I was ready for, when I was ready for it. Then there was Rob, who was like, "I'm not worried about your disability, you're not going to close your eyes, and you're going to help me land." I thought, "Oooookaaay." But the gentle glide was easier that time, and I wasn't so nervous about how high I was. Rob was cool to jump with, but he was no nonsense when I needed to focus on what I was doing. I honestly think if I'd told Rob I didn't want to jump he would have said, "Tough luck, you're jumping." I think the momentary seriousness in time of need was the only thing Joe and Rob had in common. Honestly, I think the wide contrast between them is just plain hilarious!
I'm certain, while some apprehension will be inevitable, my Third Flight will be easier and smoother still.
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